Why we do it

 

One of the ugliest, most predictable, most shopworn tropes that gets trotted out when LGBT people stand with the Muslim community during a tragedy is, "Well, you know that there are Muslim countries that kill people like you, don't you?"

It's always offered in conspiratorial just-between-us-westerners tone, and it's usually offered by people who don't give a flying fuck about queer people at any time, but always dust off the obscenity of ISIS throwing gay men off walls to score a cheap anti-Muslim dig, as though it was just as likely to be perpetrated by the Muslim family down the street in the centre of Pleasantville, Anywhere, USA, or Pleasantville, Ontario.

Here's the thing, darling: We know. We know all about it.

We don't need Bill and Mary Six Pack to explain the fact that some countries' courts will sentence us to death for just being who and at we are—countries the politicians you vote for support, and the business leaders you idolize make billions from. Trust us: you have absolutely nothing to teach us about homophobia or transphobia, or how it can lead to torture, or murder, or worse, for our brothers and sisters abroad.

For the record, it can lead to murder here, too. We've heard you loud and clear from your pulpits, your seats of government, and in your schools. We've heard your jokes about identity. We've seen how preoccupied you are with where we pee, and who we take to the prom, and who gets to wear what.

And you don't care about us, so please don't pretend you do. You'd just like to own the libs a bit, exploit a tragedy, and hopefully pit two groups you dislike—Muslims and LGBTs (or, as you'd call us, "homosexuals" and "transgenders"—against each other.

The other thing is, when one of you attacks another visible minority and kills them for what they are, we emotionally align with them, not with you, because it could be us you kill and maim next time.

We stand with the Muslim community right now because they are the vulnerable ones right now, and they need decent people standing with them. We're not afraid they're going to throw us off a wall—we're afraid YOU'RE going to throw us off a wall.

In a moment of pain like this one, we're not thinking about the fact that they might not "approve" of us. We're letting them know that we're part of a bulwark standing between them and you—a highly visible, impossible-to-miss rainbow-hued bulwark. And we're an inflexible bulwark at that.

If they don't need us, or want us, that's cool; we're there if they do. Kindness, decency, and intersectionality are not transactional. These are are our neighbours, our friends, our fellow citizens, and a fellow minority, and right now they're frightened of violence being perpetrated against them because of what they are. Believe me, we get it.

So, we're here, and we stand with them. If we make some new Muslim friends along the way, that'll be wonderful, too. If not, so be it.

But please—in the name of decency—don't try to use our pain against their pain. It's a shitty, ugly tactic, even for banal, uninteresting bigots, especially during Pride Month. And it really does say everything about you that you think you're keeping secret.